Family Gatherings

The Mother's Day Cookout was GREAT!

I made potato salad and coleslaw Saturday.  I baked beans on Sunday.  Joey grilled hot dogs and hamburgers.  The kids brought drinks and chips.  I sliced tomatoes and onions ... set out the buns, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles ... along with everything else, buffet style.

 

I insisted that Nathan (my son) and Jeremy (son-in-law) wait on their wives hand and foot ... That made all of us laugh ... I can tell these two men need more practice!  LOL!!!  Then while the Moms ate, the Dads took care of feeding the kids ... a source of more laughter ... Nathan spread wasabi mayonnaise on Fiona's hamburger ... All three of us Moms shrieked, "That's wasabi!" ... He laughed and said, "You ask me to fix her plate and then you all stand around and tell me how to do it ... I can fix this" ... He switched his burger for hers ... Problem solved!

Everyone was laughing and talking at once ... The crowd spilled into the screened porch and the back deck. 

 

I stopped eating to listen to the kids laughing and the Dads teasing them and each other ... The kids are growing so fast, and as young as they are, they sure are smart!  Nathan and Jeremy act like brothers more than brothers-in-law.  They are both high school science teachers so some of their teasing can be nerdy in a cool kind of way ... lol ...

The kids all wanted to sit by Papa Joey.  He has been pretty popular since he taught Hunter (and then, Faith) to shoot a b.b. gun.  Then, he taught Faith how to play a few chords on guitar ... Joey never had kids of his own, so it's fun to watch how he handles three kids talking at once ... I bail him out once in a while ... but I usually don't have to.  He gets better as the kids get older, or maybe the kids get better as he gets older?  LOL ...

 

I rewarded everyone with ice cream ... Fiona (the youngest granddaughter) helped me make ice cream cones and she delivered them to everyone, saying, "Look what I made!"  LOL ... That little four year old sure serve up some pretty good ice cream!

 

The guys took Hunter and Faith (the two oldest kids) "EXPLORING" in the woods down by the creek ... I'm not sure WHY they needed b.b.guns and binoculars, but they did.  I'm surprised they didn't get out the fishing rods too!

 

Fiona stayed up on the porch with me.  We watched for airplanes and boodies (Means birdies - She can't say her Rs ... Her Dad couldn't either ... She'll learn).  I have had some of the deepest, most enlightening conversations with the brightest people, but I don't think any adult conversation beats giggling with a four year old on the back porch!

Tally (my oldest daughter) gave me the neatest bracelet and a frame with pictures of all four Grandkids!  Beautiful and thoughtful gifts ... But the sweetest gift was ...

 

Fiona had been walking around all day saying, "I'm pretty" ... She was wearing a "geen" (green) dress with "puppple" (purple) flowers and "puppple" (purple) flip flops and she did look pretty darn cute.  We were all in the living room visiting when she hollered (to be heard above every one else, of course), "You're pretty!"

 

I laughed and said, "Yes, Miss Fiona, you are pretty."

 

She said, "No MeeMaw ... YOU'RE PRETTY."

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

Tally, Adrian (Fiona's Mom) and I all exchanged that, "Isn't that just precious? look.  Now, I'll never make the cover of any magazine but to one little four year old, I'm pretty!

 

Happy Mother's Day To Me! 

 

An afternoon with the grandkids gave me even more appreciation for these grandchildren stories ... because kids really do say the darndest things! 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

A woman and her grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.

His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted  freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the
Sea."  The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.

In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"

With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.

 

He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

May your own life be filled with the laughter of children.

 

 

Happy Mother's Day

 

 

 

 

 

All That I am
And ever HOPE to be ...

I owe it all
To my
ANGEL MOTHER.

(- Abraham Lincoln)

 

 

 

 

Before I Was A Mom
(Author Unknown)

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

I had romantic time with my hunny.

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as Iwanted and never worried

about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on pooped on spit on

chewed on peed on or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts,

my body and my mind. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child

so that doctors could do tests or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby

just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart

outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.

I had never known the warmth the joy

the love the heartache

the wonderful-ment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much

...before I was a Mom.

 

A Note Of Compassion

 

Holidays aren't always Celebrations.
Sometimes, they HURT.

Sometimes, they remind us

Of Our Losses ...

If you have lost your Mom,

Your Grandmother,

Or the Mother of Your Children,

Today can be hard.

 

If you have lost a child,

Today can be hard.

 

If you never knew your Mom,

Today can be hard.

 

But TODAY

Can be a reminder of
HOW MUCH MOTHERS BRING

To this world

And
The LOVE that is passed

From generation to generation

In the hearts of

MOTHERS.

 

Warm Thoughts and Gentle Hugs
To YOU ...
All the mothers and all the children

Whose LOVE survived your loss.

 

 

Love and Light, Taylor 

Tags: mothers, Love survived your loss, healing

Happy Birthday To Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was talking about other things so
I didn't bother to mention that I turned 49

this week!

49?

 

Yup ... Really!

 

I was feeling a little funny
about being the same age my Mom seemed to be ...

only a year or two ago ...
Of course, it's been LONGER that that

but it feels like only a few years ago!

 

When I was little, I can remember a day taking

FOREVER ...

Now, they FLY BY!

Whole months shoot past!
It seems like I just get used to writing one year

on my checks

when it's already the NEXT year!

 

I was reading REAL SIMPLE

(a GREAT magazine, if you haven't read it yet,

do yourself a favor and buy a copy!)

when I came across

an article written about people OVER 100!

 

You already know I like quotes,

so you might like some of these ...

(Remember, these are being said by women OVER TWICE

my age ... lol)

 

Frances Johnson (100) said:

 

If it's not terminal, why worry?

If it is, you can't do anything about it anyway!

 

A meal's not done until you have dessert.

 

Something good usually comes out of bad events.

 

Don't hold unto anger ...

You'll just make YOURSELF miserable.

To make a pot roast with the BEST flavor,

cook it VERY, VERY slowly.

 

Edna Anderson (100) said:

Keep walking.

You'll be so happy you can walk when you're old.

Avoid a fast talker when you are looking

for a husband.

Go for someone who's steady.

 

Volunteering gets you away from your own worries.

 

There are still happy times ahead after loss.

 

 

Mary Cavaliere (106) said:

 

Always cook with fresh vegetable, never canned.

 

Marry a man who's more in love with you

than you are with him.

 

A person never gets too old to love.

 

Forgiveness really is divine.

 

If you expect perfection from everyone,

you'll be all alone.

 

 

Melva Radcliffe (105) said:

 

Anything you love is important.

 

Don't be afraid to travel.

 

Don't go abroad and eat in a chain restaurant.

Eating at a foreign place is part of the trip.

 

You'll always need your girlfriends.

 

Think twice before plastic surgery.

You might look prettier without it.

 

 

Evelyn "Tootie" Yeager (102) said:

 

A mother should respect her children,

just as they should respect her.

 

If you're not wild about cooking,

get a microwave.

 

Eat what you're hungry for.

 

If you worry about being old,

you will be old.

 

Look for a husband that makes you laugh.


I wanted to hug everyone of these ladies

personally!

49 ... Pffffffffffbt!!!

BIG DEAL!

There'll be a day I'll give anything to be 49 again,

because

49 feels pretty good!

 

 

Meditations, Affirmations & QUOTES

Quotes are my favorite.  I like quotes because they inspire me.  They are like a snapshot in time ... when someone said a sentence that captured how I have felt, how I'm feeling now or how I would like to feel someday ...

There are books of quotes in most book stores, but the Internet has made them even easier to find.  Just type in "Quote + Healing" or "Quote + Love" or "Quote + Hope" or if humor cheers you up, "Humorous Quotes" ... No telling what you will end up with "GOOGLE-ing" that one!

Here are a few I found to get you started:


The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.
- Eli Wiesel

When you are going through hell, keep on going.
Never never never give up.
- Winston Churchill

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Ghandi

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
- Thomas Edison

Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise,
trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things and
still be calm in your heart.
- Unknown

Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising each time we fall.
- Confucius

The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it
- Albert Einstein

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller

Experience is not what happens to you;
it's what you do with what happens to you.
- Adlous Huxley

Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
- Harvey Fienstein

I can only be responsible for my own happiness.
- Paul

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an
invincible summer.
- Albert Camus

Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect.
- Theodore Parker

We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full.
- Marcel Proust

I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.
- Abraham Lincoln

Crises refine life.  In them you discover what you are.
- Allen K. Chalmers

One may not reach the dawn save by path of night.
- Khalil Gribran

The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak.
- Jacques Bénigne Bossuet

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
- Nietzsche

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...
initially scared me to death.
- Betty Bender

What should I be but just what I am? 
- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  
- Confucius

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy,
for it means pushing back a boundary-line and
adding to one's liberty. 
- Henri Frédéric Amiel

Our sorrows and wounds are healed
only when we touch them with compassion.   
- Buddha

 

What I am is good enough if I could only be it openly.
- Carl Rogers

 

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

 

I am old enough to know that victory is often a thing deferred,
and rarely at the summit of courage.
What is at the summit of courage, I think, is freedom.
The freedom that comes with the knowledge
that no earthly thing can break you.  
- Paula Giddings

 

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.  
- Walt Disney

 

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising that tempt you
to believe your critics are right.
To map out a course of action and follow it to an end
requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs.
Peace has its victories,
but it takes brave men and women to win them. 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.  

- Frank Crane

<FONTFACE=ARIAL>The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.  
- Elbert Hubbard

The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it. 
- Albert Einstein

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,
and only you can determine how it will be spent.
Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.  
- Carl Sandburg

 

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.  
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why?
Just as the seed of health is in illness,
because illness contains information,
your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge
if you explore them. 

- Marilyn Ferguson

 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else -
you are the one who gets burned. 
- Buddha

 

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.

- Kahlil Gibran

 

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but rather the judgment that
something else is more important than fear. 
- Ambrose Redmoon

Tags: meditations, affirmations, quotes, positive thoughts, recovery, healing

Meditations, AFFIRMATIONS & Quotes

I wrote a perfectly wonderful essay on affirmations and no matter how I tried, I couldn't get it to fit into this format ... I tried editing it and cutting it and nothing worked ... When I tried my best and it's still wasn't happening, I backed up and looked at what I was doing and asked myself if there might be a better way.  I decided to write about my own experience with AFFIRMATIONS.  I can tell you about affirmations.  I use them all the time.

I have been in some sort of sales for most of my life and have heard dozens of speeches on positive thinking and how the things we think and the things we say can and will become reality.  Unfortunately for most of us ... it's not just the POSITIVE things we think and say but the NEGATIVE things we think and say that can become reality too.

That's where affirmations come in ...

What is an affirmation?

There are very few that doubt affirmations actually work but opinions vary widely when it comes to exactly why or how. Fundamentally affirmations work because you are repeatedly telling yourself that you would like to feel or act a particular way or take on a certain character trait. This repetition subtly reminds you of this and you take steps in that direction. At first these steps are conscious however with time they become unconscious, hence affirmations are a way of reprogramming the unconscious mind.

Everyone uses affirmations either by taking control and consciously writing them down and choosing how they want to act, think or feel or by allowing their environment to affirm actions and dialog with potentially damaging consequences. If you do not consciously program your subconscious you are left with no choice but to accept whatever life throws at you, positive or negative.

                                                  ( from www.bmindful.com )
 
As a mother of four, I tried to get as much done as possible before I left the house every day.  The "habit" of leaving things in order often meant that I would get in the car 10-15 minutes later than I should have.  I would then be in a hurry, which meant that the old lady doing 20 in a 35 would make me CRAZY!  I would get MAD at her for getting in my way.  It became a habit for me to "talk" to the driver in front of me.  Now I wouldn't just be rushed.  I'd be frustrated.  Sometimes, I'd be angry.  It was a bad habit.  It was all so unnecessary.

I didn't feel like I could quit doing the things I needed to do before I left the house, so I got up 10-15 minutes earlier.  That helped some, but occasionally, there would still be something ... long line at the gas station, the slow driver, getting cut off by a faster driver ... I started changing the way I talked to myself.  I would encourage myself to calm down ... I'd politely say, "After you" when someone cut me off ... I also put an affirmation on the dash of my car next to the clock.  It said, "I will get to where I need to be when I need to get there ... DRIVE SAFELY".  It didn't control my driving, but it reminded me to CONTROL MY DRIVING and being a safe and courteous driver became my NEW habit.

When I first started my recovery, I felt awful.  I felt awful all the time.  NOTHING cheered me up.  I read a book that said to use AFFIRMATIONS to cheer ourselves up ... encouraging things we might say to someone else if they were down ... She gave a few examples of things that helped her and I found a few other quotes.

I typed them on the computer and printed them out.  I cut them out and pasted them on pretty card stock and taped them all over my house ... my mirrors ... above my sink in the kitchen ... on my refrigerator ... next to the tv ... even on the inside of the front door!

 

Some of them said things like:

Live a balanced, centered, serene,

happy, healthy life

on a

DAILY BASIS.

 

 

My PRAYERS and NEEDS

are always answered

and

met at the PERFECT time.

 

 

ACTION

converts my goals to

REALITY.

 

 

I have the

ABILITY and SKILLS

now to get all I

NEED or WANT.

 

 

MIRACLES

are happening to me
RIGHT NOW

and

EVERY DAY.


I LOVE, ACCEPT and FORGIVE

myself and others

because

I am a LOVING and FORGIVING person.

 

 

FAITH and BELIEF

stimulate and fuel my

DREAMS.

 

 

Without

COURAGE

We cannot practice

any other virtue

consistently.


My life ALWAYS has

JOY, PURPOSE & MEANING.


I LOVE & ACCEPT OTHERS

to be who they are.

 

 

I love and appreciate my body.

I ammore than my body.

I am a POWERFUL SPIRIT.

 

 

I am CAPABLE

of

REALIZING my DREAMS.

 

Was I magically happy and instantly healed?  Recovery doesn't work that way!  But it was almost magic the way I would see one of those AFFIRMATIONS and be reminded that I hadn't always been sad and that I probably wouldn't be sad forever ... They DID encourage me.  They DID help me reprogram the way I was thinking.  I quit focusing on "all things negative" and started looking for MIRACLES.

There are little miracles everyday, but we have to be looking for them.  If we are distracted or busy, we might miss the REAL LIFE affirmations.  Seeing positive statements typed out on cards trained my mind to see positive statements elsewhere ... to hear POSITIVE things from other people ... but POSITIVE THINKING only works if we BELIEVE IT!  Affirmations are one of the ways to change thinking into believing.

This web-site has many BEAUTIFUL AFFIRMATIONS:

The images in my mind have creative power.
They breath existence into possibilities
That never existed before.


I am focused on my journey, not the destination.


Intuition always guides me,
Showing me how to decide which path to travel,
As my life changes course.

http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/deepakaffirmation.html

I honor all relationships,
Particularly the difficult ones,
As lessons in
Learning to give and receive love.


Since I will reap whatever I sow,
May my every action be a seed of
PEACE & COMPASSION
 Both for my own benefit,
And the benefit of all beings.


My body feels more relaxed and comfortable
As I allow myself to
Accept both light and shadow,
Becoming spacious enough to hold
The paradoxes of life.


Help is always available
From the seen and unseen worlds.
It is up to me to ask for what I need,
Realizing that answers may come
In unexpected ways.


http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/joanaffirmations.html


I focus not on the 100 things
I may have to do at some future time,
But on the
One thing I can do NOW.


I am content with what I have.
I rejoice in the way things are.
I realize that there is nothing lacking.
The whole world belongs to me.


Nothing that was ever done to me,
Can touch, even in the slightest,
The radiant essence of who I really am.


http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/eckharttolleaffirmations.html


Dear God,
I place in your hands
My relationship with __________.
May our relationship serve you.
May we see each other through the eyes of love,
That only Light might enter here.


May this space, our home, be a sacred dwelling
For those who live here.
May those who visit feel the peace
We have received from you.
Maydarkness not enter.
May the light of God shield this space from harm.
May the angels bring their peace here,
And use our space as a haven of light.
May all grow strong in this place of healing,
Our sanctuary from the loudness of the world.


http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/williamsonaffirmations-19.html

and many more at: 
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/affirmationsindex.html

Tags: meditations, affirmations, quotes, positive thoughts, recovery, healing

MEDITATIONS, Affirmations & Quotes

I used to pray only formal prayers that I read in a book.
I thought I had to say thee and thou a lot.
Then, I prayed, talking to God like I was talking to my very best friend.
I would talk to Him while I was driving down the road or sitting in a park or going for a walk ... anywhere, anytime, chattering on and on about what was going on in my life.
Sometimes, I said Thank you.

Sometimes, I said Please help ...

Sometimes, I would tell him about a problem and ask Him for guidance or wisdom.
Then, one day, when I couldn't put my feelings into words, I just sat on a rock down by the river and really thought about how good God is and how thankful I was (and am) to have Him in my life.
I cried until there were no more tears.
I watched a place in the river ... a swirly, give the leaves and twigs a ride place and thought about how life was swirling around me.
Just above the swirly place was a flower bent over the stream, like it was looking at itself in the mirror ...
And just above the flower, a bluebird landed, cocked it's head to the side and looked at me ...
I hadn't said a single word ... but God's creation was speaking to my heart.
I spent a lot of time beside that river.
I learned the value of stillness ...
Of quiet meditation ...
I just read this the other day ...

Learning to meditate is the greatest gift you can give yourself in this life.  For it is only through meditation that you can undertake the journey to discover your true nature, and so find the stability and confidence you will need to live, and die, well.

Meditation is the road to enlightenment.

When I teach meditation, I often begin by saying: “Bring your mind home.  And release.  And relax.”

To bring your mind home means to bring the mind into the state of Calm Abiding through the practice of mindfulness.  In its deepest sense, to bring your mind home is to turn your mind inward and rest in the nature of mind.  This itself is the highest meditation.

To release means to release the mind from its prison of grasping, since you recognize that all pain and fear and distress arise from the craving of the grasping mind.  On a deeper level, therealization and confidence that arise from your growing understanding of the nature of mind inspire the profound and natural generosity that enables you to release all grasping from your heart, letting it free itself to melt away in the inspiration of meditation.

To relax means to be spacious and to relax the mind of its tensions.  More deeply, you relax into the true nature of your mind.  It is like pouring a handful of sand onto a hot surface, and each grain settles of its own accord.  This is how you relax into your true nature, letting all thoughts and emotions naturally subside and dissolve into the state of the nature of mind.

How many of us are swept away by what I have come to call an “active laziness”?   Naturally there are different species of laziness: Eastern and Western.

The Eastern style consists of hanging out all day in the sun, doing nothing, avoiding any kind of work or useful activity, drinking cups of tea and gossiping with friends.

Western laziness is quite different.  It consists of cramming our lives with compulsive activity, so that there is no time left to confront the real issues.

If we look into our lives, we will see clearly how many unimportant tasks, so-called “responsibilities” accumulate to fill them up.   One master compares them to “housekeeping in a dream.”  We tell ourselves we want to spend time on the important things of life, but there never is any time.

Helpless, we watch our days fill up with telephone calls and petty projects, with so many responsibilities — or should we call them “irresponsibilities”?
                                                                "Glimpses" by Sogyal Rinpoche


I like how he compares the West to the East ... saying we "cram our lives with compulsive activity, so that there is no time left to confront the real issues" ... I resemble that remark!  I can't remember a time when I didn't live my life through a day-timer and a series of to-do lists.  It was a "breakthrough" when I quit wearing a watch!

Then one day, it all caught up to me ... The things I thought were important just didn't matter all that much to me anymore ... I found value in quieting the storm that swirled around me and through me ... in knowing that I am part of a MUCH BIGGER picture ...

Tags: meditations, affirmations, quotes, positive thoughts, recovery, healing

Bringing PEACE To Our Minds

The Buddhist meditation masters know how flexible and workable the mind is. If we train it, anything is possible. In fact, we are already perfectly trained to get jealous, trained to grasp, trained to be anxious and sad and desperate and greedy, trained to react angrily to whatever provokes us. In fact, we are trained to such an extent that these negative emotions rise spontaneously, without our even trying to generate them.
So everything is a question of training and the power of habit. Devote the mind to confusion and we know only too well, if we’re honest, that it will become a dark master of confusion, adept in its addictions, subtle and perversely supple in its slaveries. Devote it in meditation to the task of freeing itself from illusion, and we will find that with time, patience, discipline, and the right training, the mind will begin to unknot itself and know its essential bliss and clarity.
What is the nature of mind like? Imagine a sky, empty, spacious, and pure from the beginning; its essence is like this. Imagine a sun, luminous, clear, unobstructed, and spontaneously present; its nature is like this. Imagine that sun shining out impartially on us and all things, penetrating all directions; its energy, which is the manifestation of compassion, is like this: Nothing can obstruct it, and it pervades everywhere.
                                        "Glimpses" by Sogyal Rinpoche

The Four Agreements talked about replacing those old agreements and beliefs with four simpler ones: keep your speech impeccable, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best.  The simple exercise of consciously replacing bad thoughts with more workable ones is retraining your mind.

 

How many times have I gotten myself totally lost in a worry, dwelling on the thought until I thought I would lose my mind entirely, tying myself in knots, fretting about what would happen next? 

Most of the things I worried about never happened! 

Life moves on and for the most part, things have a way of working themselves out. 

Of course, there are some things we can't ignore ... If our children are sick, it is our responsibility to stop what we are doing and care for them.  It is in the way we care for them that we teach them they are valuable and deserving of care.  We are teaching them to nurture others by our example ... and one day, they will grow up to nurture their children and those children will grow up to nurture their children ... One day our great, great grandchild will reach for a cup of mint tea to sooth their child's tummy ache and they won't even realize that we were the ones who served the first cup of tummy mint tea ...

One simple act of loving care will become a tradition, a source of comfort and a smile to generations of loved ones ... some of whom we will never know ...  

There are other things we can't ignore ... things that demand our attention ... If we are in a car accident, the car will have to be repaired or replaced ... If a storm causes a tree to fall in our front yard, of course, we will turn our thoughts to cleaning up the fallen tree.  If our pantry is in need of restocking, we go to the grocery store.  If our car is low on gas, we stop and refuel.  We have to pay for food and fuel so we get up everyday to go to work and all of these things are a part of the journey ... and ripe with opportunities.

Opportunities? 

Let me show you what I mean ... Let's walk through a day ...

What happens when you get in a car accident?
What is your first thought?

Was it your fault?  Are you mad at yourself?

Do you automatically blame the other guy?
Are you angry?

Are you thinking about your next appointment (which you will be late for)?

Is your first thought to check on the safety of all the people in both cars or are you counting the costs in time and money?
What about the tree falling?

Are you thankful it didn't hit your house or mad that it broke the sidewalk or ruined the shrubbery?
Do you think about who to call and what to do?

Do you make a list of things you will need to do to clean it up?

Are you mad?

Are you thankful that it was only one tree?
What about restocking the pantry?
Easy for some of us but daunting if you just lost your spouse and it was the thing they always did ...
Do you make a list of the things you have always bought or do you make a list of a few new recipes you want to try?

Do you have a favorite grocery store?

Do you like the comfort of knowing where everything is?
What happens when you run into a friend?

What happens if you run into someone you don't like so much?

What do you feel?

Are they any different really?

Your heart speeds up.  You wonder what to say.  There is a moment of discomfort right before you settle into conversation or the lack of conversation ... a smile or a nod ...
Stopping at the gas station is the same ... Seeing people you know and people you don't know ...
Each person, a trigger for a memory ... a woman could be wearing the same color jacket that your Mom used to wear ... another person might have the same color hair as someone you liked in school ... you might see a car like one you used to have ...
Do you grumble at the price of gas?
Does someone cut you off in traffic?
Does it make you mad?  What if the one who made the mistake is you?

Work.  The way we pay the bills.

Do you like what you're doing?

Are you doing the thing you dreamed about?
Would you do what you're doing now, even if they didn't pay you?
What about the people you work with? 
There are always people we like and others we don't likeso much.
Some customers are a joy to work with.

Other are a real pain!
We are supposed to treat them all the same, but do we really?
You know the nice ones get better service.

Which one are you when you are on the other side of the counter? 

Who can even count the fleeting thoughts and memories that pass through our minds as we wander through the day?

 

How many times has one bad thought or one bad memory completely derailed a day ... Shoot!  Even a bad dream could follow me through the day like a cloud full of lightning, just waiting to strike!  Learning to quiet those thoughts wasn't a choice ... It was a matter of survival!  When the things I worried about got bigger than my life, it was time to take another look at the things I worried about! 

The Toltecs called those things that would consume us poison and suggest that eliminating the poison, one negative agreement at a time sets our minds truly free.  We can choose to keep your speech impeccable, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. 

The Buddhists talk about simplicity, mindfulness and compassion.  We can choose to simplify our lives, consider something from both sides - the side we are now and the side we may be later, consciously accept that where we are is where we are and learn from THIS PLACE so that we can go to the next place, doing all things with COMPASSION for ourselves and for others because we are all connected in ways we can not even imagine.

As a small child, I remember hearing:  whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.  (Philippians 4: 8-9)

Is it my imagination or do they all seem to have been saying the same thing?  How many times did I have to hear it before I understood?  Apparently ... the answer is as many times as it took for me to understand!

 

I can choose my thoughts.  I can choose my actions and reactions.  When bad things happen (and they will), I can deal with them (to the best of my ability) before they deal with me!  Once again ... I can say ...

 

God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change ... the COURAGE to change the things I can ... and the WISDOM to know the difference.

                                                               (Serenity Prayer)

I always liked this prayer too ... 

Lord, make me an instrument of your PEACE.

Where there is hatred ... let me sow LOVE.
Where there is injury ... PARDON.

Where there is doubt ... FAITH.

Where there is despair ... HOPE.

Where there is darkness ... LIGHT.

Where there is sadness ... JOY.

                                                                     (Prayer of St. Francis)


My dear friend, I hope your path includes Simplicity, Mindfulness, Compassion, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom, Peace, Love, Pardon, Faith, Hope, Light and Joy and much, much more ... Thank you for sharing this part of the path with me!

 

Love and Light,

 

Taylor      

Tags: Recovery, Healing, Peace, Quieting Our Minds