Good Morning Glory !

May you have enough happiness

to make you sweet,

Enough trials to make you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

And enough hope to make you happy.

You know, I forget sometimes, that when I walk away from the computer, some folks might think that I'm still in that thought.  MamaB (my big sister extraordinaire - I call her MamaB because that's what you know her as - wink) called to check on me yesterday morning because when I left the computer, I was still posting my apology.  I left it there long enough for all of you to catch up with it.  But MamaB, who loves me, thought I had apologized long enough and wanted to make sure I wasn't feeling all sad and dejected ... but that isn't the way apologies make me feel! 

Of course, it's a little hard on my pride but I am so glad to be free of the burden I was feeling that by the time I finish apologizing, even if my apology wasn't / isn't / hadn't been accepted, I know I made an attempt, and sometimes, that's as good as it gets ... If the person I have offended accepts my apology, my heart is filled with even more JOY!

So many of you sent the kindest notes ... I felt humbled, forgiven and accepted.  Thank you!

After the week we have had, it felt so good to just let it go!  I had my energy back!  I was meeting life with a smile again!  I was kinder and more polite to strangers again!  Poor Joey had to deal with me on a forgiven high (like a sugar high, only way moh bettah!).  He's as shy as I am NOT so me walking around yesterday, singing out loud, and befriending strangers stretch his introverted side.

We were in a room at the back of an antique store and I didn't even realize that I was singing "morning shower loud" ... He patted me on the shoulder and said, ever so quietly, "Shhhh ... Honey ... Shhhh."  I looked at him and shrugged with that, you-know-how-I-can-be-sometimes look and whispered back, "Thanks Honey."  I have a good singing voice, but I was getting a little loud!  LOL!!!

One time, we were at a botanical garden, and we walked into this four-walled bricked up space that even our whispers echoed in ... I just knew it had good acoustics so I couldn't resist singing a few bars of Amazing Grace (My mom's favorite song but she likes the version that is sung to the tune of House Of The Rising Sun) ... Man, did it echo!  I thought we were alone until the security guard clapped his hands ... That was embarrassing ... lol ... I think I blushed bigger than that Rising Sun!



I am so grateful for the things I was reminded of this week ...

MamaB talked about this forum not being appropriate for some things ... right next to me trying to "educate and inform" ... and it has made me consider and rethink some things.  I will continue to write about healing but I can't "force feed" my lessons to anyone ... I am going to stop giving "book reports" and share my own path more.  It means being even more open and vulnerable, but being open and vulnerable are part of my recovery, so what I am doing here will just compliment what is happening in my real life ...

That didn't happen last week.  When this place got to be too much, I did the same thing a lot of you probably did ... I went running to Joey and a few close friends ... snuggling into my favorite places, listening to my favorite music, reading some of my favorite books ... doing all the things I needed to get back to who I am and where I need to be ... focused on my stiff instead of worrying about everyone else's stuff.

I don't talk much about my faith ... My spiritual life is precious and private to me ... but deep down, in the core of my beliefs is a God who speaks to me in that quiet voice.  I grew up thinking of that as the Holy Spirit but MamaB and PolarB call that ever present force Spirit and I like that ... like being on a first name basis with the most personal and ever present force we can invite into our lives ...

That little voice is the one that whispers to trust Him and know that He is here and He will bring things under control, that His voice is speaking in a very personal way with each of you too, and that everything that is supposed to be will be.  We are where we are.  We are here for a reason.  He will bring us through.

He would say not to worry when someone else expresses an opinion strongly.  What is that to me?  It is your opinion and you are entitled to it.  I might not understand but you must have a reason for feeling the way you do.

He would say for me to not give into fear because He will keep me safe.   My life works better when I meet new people and places, anticipating goodness.  I have discernment.  I know there are bad people out there but He will let me know when there is someone I need to avoid.  I don't need to go looking for trouble, and if trouble finds me, I will deal with it appropriately ... on-line and off-line.

I am not going to let fear stop me from doing the things I want to do. Of course there are healthy boundaries and good rules-of-thumb to keep you safe, but I'm not giving into hysteria!  If I want to post a picture, I'm going to post it.  If you know what I look like, big deal!  We all know what Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise look like too ... In fact, how bad can it be?  Do you think Oprah frets about you knowing what she looks like?  I'm not going to post my name and address under my photo, for goodness sakes!

I am spiritual but I am irreverent too!  I really do see some things in life like a Far-Side Cartoon ... I find humor in things that happen.  I laugh at some of the goofy things I see in others and in me ...

I think it's funny that we all try to be so fair ... like giving people free speech, carte blanche.  You know blogging is personal and we all have our own opinions which is what makes blogging interesting, but if your opinion is mean and contrary to mine, I will do the same thing I do with a tv show I don't want to watch.  I'll just shut it off!  I celebrate your right to say whatever you want to say anywhere you want to say it but if you bring your "mean talk" to my house, I'm deleting your mean words!  Poof!  End of story!  Bye-Bye, you're gone (from my house, anyway)!  Come back another time when you are in a better mood!     

I have other boundaries too!  A lot of people blog for a lot of reasons.  Some of you are looking to hook up.  Cool.  For the record, I'm married, and I'm not shoppingfor a guy.  I already have the kindest man in the world!  That doesn't take one single thing away from the fine male specimens that are present here on the stream.  I'm not at all interested in cultivating any relationship other than friendship with any of you guys, and even then, I'm a couple!  So many things I say and write are truly a reflection of Joey and me.

My blog is not a church and I am not a Saint.  I DO NOT have a corner on all the answers.  None of us do!  I listen to people talk, saying, "God says we should ..."  You know what?  The Supreme Being of the Universe doesn't need to go through anybody else to get to you or me.  He already has a direct line.  He doesn't need any of us to defend Him or explain His words.  He's bigger than all of us and He speaks very clearly.

 

There are healthy limits to our friendships and that is good.  I talk about healing but I am NOT a counselor or a therapist.  I talk about aspects of the law but I am NOT a lawyer.  I talk about faith and religion but I am NOT a minister.  This is not the place to get professional or personal advice anyway!  This is a place where we share ideas ... Maybe, something I say might spark an idea in you?  I know there are things you have said that sparked ideas in me.  That's what friends do!

If you are seeking respect, kindness, understanding, encouragement, laughter with a little bit of sarcasm and sass, then I am the friend for you!

May you have enough happiness
to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

And enough hope to make you happy.