The BEAUTY of Cedar Waxwings

This morning when I woke up, I popped in a nature CD ... you know the kind?  Classical music with the sounds of song birds and running water mixed in.  I sat down to read and drink my cup of coffee when I saw the most magical thing!  

The tree outside my window was full of CEDAR WAXWINGS!  They travel in flocks of 30-40 and they have masks like tiny little lone rangers.  They love to feed on berries and the front of my house has several shrubs with berries on them.  Cedar waxwings are my favorite!  They came through here last year and now, they are back!  

How awesome if that ?!!!  

Native Americans have long believed that animals have specific character traits.  Their is a wonderful book called ANIMAL SPEAK by Ted Andrews that shows readers how to view those traits for personal growth and inner discovery.  I couldn't resist looking up the waxwing.  It said:  

Waxwing - connection to healing, self respect and control of ego  

How cool is that?  Healing?  I sure am!  Self respect?  I have more of that than I ever have.  Control of ego?  I have been learning a lot about that too. 

I'd like to talk about that. 

Egos ... we stroke them, bruise them, protect them, feed them, check them ... Dr. Sam Vankin, in his book Malignant Self Love, talks about strong and weak egos:

Persons with a strong Ego can objectively comprehend both the world and themselves. In other words, they are possessed of insight. They are able to contemplate longer time spans, plan, forecast and schedule. They choose decisively among alternatives and follow their resolve. They are aware of the existence of their drives, but control them and channel them in socially acceptable ways. They resist pressures – social or otherwise. They choose their course and pursue it.

The weaker the Ego is, the more infantile and impulsive its owner, the more distorted his or her perception of self and reality. A weak Ego is incapable of productive work.

The healthy Ego preserves some sense of continuity and consistency. It serves as a point of reference. It relates events of the past to actions at present and to plans for the future. It incorporates memory, anticipation, imagination and intellect. It defines where the individual ends and the world begins.

No matter what pain you are recovering from, recovery is a time when we Have to get real with ourselves and the people around us.  It is the time to put aside our false self in favor of our true self and the more we get in touch with our true self, the healthier our egos become.  We let go of the false things that held us back and embrace the true things that will carry us through ...

Does that make sense? 

When we project "an image" of what we want people to see, we have a lot invested in maintaining that image and our egos become touchy little things whose purpose is to "keep up the image" to the rest of the world.  We wear all sorts of masks.  But when we commit to living a more REAL life, we have to let go of that false image we projected and accept that we are what we are.  We have to choose to put away all the masks.  There is no use trying to be or do something else because we are here in this moment for a reason ... and living one day at a time is freely admitting to ourselves and the world around us that THIS IS WHO I AM, for better or worse, this is ME ...

Recovery is committing to do inner work ... to consciously work on our selves from the inside out.  As a co-dependent, I have lived most of my life from the outside in.  Who I was and how I felt depended on how the world around me was responding to me at the time! 

I had all sorts of masks and maybe, you do too?  There's the mask we wear when we are working and the mask that fits just fine at home.  There is another mask for when we are under stress and want the world to think we have everything under control.  There is the mask we wear for company and people we want to impress.  There is the mask we wear when we are hurt and angry but don't want the world to see us hurt or angry.  Recovery is committing to being REAL.  Recovery is admitting and accepting that we are where we are and we are meant to deal with what today brings us as best we can, one day at a time.  It is starting every day with:

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and
the wisdom to know the difference.

 

No room for false, inflated egos or well worn masks ... No reason to pretend to be anyone else when who we are is who we are meant to be.  We are all here for a reason but we will never know the reason if we don't meet the world exactly as who we are. 

Let me read that again ...

The healthy Ego preserves some sense of continuity and consistency.
It serves as a point of reference.
It relates events of the past to actions at present and to plans for the future.
It incorporates memory, anticipation, imagination and intellect.
It defines where the individual ends and the world begins.

To think one little flock of waxwings got me to thinking about all this ... Maybe, God sent them to my yard, knowing they were my favorite, but also knowing that I'd look them up in the book and see that they represent:

connection to healing

self respect

control of ego 

Maybe it was my little reward for choosing to be REAL?  Maybe, He just wanted me to know that I am connected to HIS healing?

After a lifetime of trying to prove to the world that I was PERFECT by choosing the PERFECT mask, it feels good to love myself for who I am ... but even better to KNOW that God loves me too, just as I am!  Do you know how I know?  Well, this morning, He sent me a flock of my favorite birds!





(smiling)  I appreciate the humor and the irony that it was birds with masks that reminded me how good life can be when we put away our own false masks!  LOLOL ... That might be a post for another day!  (smiling)