SATURDAY ... in the park ... I dreamed it was the 4th of July

 

... for those who take life too seriously.


 
1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.

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2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like,
Night.

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3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.

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4. I Just Got Lost In Thought.
It Wasn't Familiar Territory.

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5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up
On The Spot.

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6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound,
Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright
Until You Hear Them Speak.

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7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked
In A Parallel Universe.

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8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.

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9. Remember, Half The People You Know
Are Below Average.

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10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.

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11. Depression Is Merely Anger
Without Enthusiasm.

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12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm,
But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.

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13. I Drive Way Too Fast
To Worry About Cholesterol.

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14. Support Bacteria.
They're The Only Culture Some People Have.

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15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend
1/7 Of Your Week.

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16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually
The Sign Of A Bad Memory.

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17. Change Is Inevitable,
Except From Vending Machines.

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18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse.
It'll Be A Great Trade!

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19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.

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20. Always Try To Be Modest,
And Be Proud Of It!

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21. If You Think Nobody Cares,
Try Missing A Couple Of Payments.

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22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis?
Raise My Hand.

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23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?

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24. How Do You Tell When You're Out
Of Invisible Ink?

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25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well,
You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.

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26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way,
You're In The Wrong Lane.

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27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future.
Laziness Pays Off Now.

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28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory.
Some Just Do Not Have Film.

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29. If Barbie Is So Popular,
Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?

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30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be
Without Sponges?

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31. What Happens If You Get Scared
Half To Death Twice?

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32. I Used To Have An Open Mind
But My Brains Kept Falling Out.

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33. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes,
So I Made Your Horn Louder.

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34. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You
For Your Name?

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35. Inside Every Older Person
Is A Younger Person Wondering,
"What Happened?"





You don't have to stop laughing
when you grow old.
You grow old because you stop

laughing.