Two?
I'd like to share more about A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom - THE FOUR AGREEMENTS - A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz. He shares Toltec Wisdom ... which says we all live by spoken and unspoken beliefs (or agreements) that we have gathered since birth. We can transform our lives by replacing any negative agreements with THE FOUR AGREEMENTS:
2. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
He says: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and action of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves ... whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream, a reflection of your past agreements.
When you feel good, everything around you is good. When everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You are loving everything that is around you, because you are loving yourself. Because you like the way you are. Because you are content with you. Because you are happy with your life ...
Don't take anything personally.
Even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head, it is nothing personal. Even at that extreme ... If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you ... walking away may hurt for a little while, but your heart will eventually heal.
Then you can choose what you really want ...
"The gun thing" was Don Miguel Ruiz's example ... not mine, but the fact that he chose "THAT EXAMPLE" certainly made me sit up and take notice!
What people say to you says more about them than it does about you ... good or bad. People can only see the world the way the world has treated them. If the world has been kind to them, they are kind to you and expect you to be kind. If the world has been cruel to them, they will be cruel to you and expect you to be cruel. Maybe it isn't even about being kind or cruel at all ... Maybe, we just crossed their path at the end of a really bad day?
Powerful! I have been excited about this from the first time I read it.
The idea that EVERYTHING I thought ... could be wrong ... that I could actually replace those old beliefs with new agreements like not taking anything personally ...
What could it hurt?
I had tried so many other things that hadn't worked. I may as well try that!
Breaking old habits isn't easy. I am co-dependent. Co-dependents spend a LOT of time trying to please every one else. If we are giving people the "gift" of our personal attention without taking the time to REALLY know what someone truly wants or needs from us, they might not like our "gift" and when we see they don't like it or don't even notice all our "effort", we take it personally.
The TRUTH is that most of the things that you and I do are unintentional. We don't evaluate every little thing. We are just doing what feels RIGHT at the time ... We are following our heart ... We are just reacting to life. It is the same thing with other people too.
What would happen if I intentionally chose NOT to take you personally and you intentionally chose NOT to take me personally? Would our conversations improve? Couldn't we all be ourselves much more easily if we quit worrying about what the other person was thinking or saying or doing?
Don't be offended!
We all have "our stuff". "Our stuff" gets in the way of everything we want and need and hope for ... It is all as it should be ... My obstacles and challenges are meant strengthen my weaknesses. Your obstacles and challenges are meant to strengthen your weaknesses.
We all have our weaknesses. Some obstacles are easy to overcome and others are not ... in YOU and in ME ... If we truly accept that in ourselves and others, how can we take someone personally?
You see ... the same way we shouldn't take others personally ... We could also tell our closest friends and relatives not to take us personally either!
So if we are impeccable in our speech and we resist the temptation to take things personally ... what else is there for us to do?
That would be STEP THREE ...
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