Protect The Children ...

Shannon could hear the footsteps behind her as she walked toward home.  The thought of being followed made her heart beat faster.  "You're being silly", she told herself, "no one is following you."  To be safe, she began to walk faster, but the footsteps kept up with her pace.  She was afraid to look back and she was glad she was almost home.  Shannon said a quick prayer, "God please get me home safe."  She saw the porch light burning and she leaned against the door for a moment, relieved to be in the safety of her own home.  She glanced out the window to see if anyone was there.  The sidewalk was empty.

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line.  She logged on under her screen name ANGEL1213.  She checked her buddy list and saw GoTo123 was on.  She sent him an instant message:

ANGEL1213:  Hi, I'm glad you are on!  I thought someone was following me home today.  It was really weird!

GoTo123:  LOL You watch too much TV.  Why would someone be following you?  Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?

ANGEL1213:  Of course I do.  LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz I didn't see anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123:  Unless you gave your name out on-line.  You haven't done that have you?

ANGEL1213:  Of course not.  I'm not stupid you know.

GoTo123:  Did you have a softball game after school today?

ANGEL1213:  Yes and we won!!

GoTo123:  That's great!  Who did you play?

ANGEL1213:  We played the Hornets.  LOL.  Their uniforms are so gross!  They look like bees.  LOL

GoTo123:  What is your team called?

ANGEL1213:  We are the Canton Cats.  We have tiger paws on our uniforms.  They are really cool.

GoTo123:  Did you pitch?

ANGEL1213:  No, I play second base.  I got to go.  My homework has to be done before my parents get home.  I don't want them to get mad at me.  Bye!

GoTo123:  Catch you later.  Bye.


Meanwhile ... GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search her profile.  When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out.  He took out a pen and negan to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name:  Shannon
Her Birthday:  Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived:  North Carolina
Hobbies:  Softball, Chorus, Skating and going to the mall.

Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him.  He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work.  He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats.  Her favorite number was 7 and printed on her jersey.  He knew she was in the 8th grade at the Canton Junior High School.  She had told him all this in the conversations thay had on-line.  He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day.  She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games.  Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst.  It made her wish she was not an only child.  Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when she suddenly felt someone staring at her.  It was then that the memory came back.  She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him.  He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on the bleacher while she talked to the coach.  She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him.  He nodded and smiled back.  He noticed her name on the back of her shirt.  He knew he had found her.  Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her.  It was only a few blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.

Now he had to wait.  He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon's house.  He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until it was time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the livingroom.  "Shannon, come here," her father called.  He sounded upset and she couldn'timagine why.  She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.

"Sit down," her father began, "This man has been telling us an intersting story about you.

Shannon sat back.  How could he tell her parents anything?  She had never even seen him before today!

"Do you know who I am, Shannon?" the man asked.

"No," Shannon answered.

"I am a police officer and your on-line friend, GoTo123."

Shannon was stunned.  "That's impossible!  GoTo is a kid my age!  He's 14 and he lives in Michigan!"

The man smiled.  "I know I told you all that, but it isn't true.  You see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them.  But while others do it to find kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators.  I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line.  You told me enough about yourself to make it very easy for me to find you.  Your name, the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played.  The name and number on your jersey just made findign you a breeze."

Shannon was stunned.  "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"

He laughed.  "No, I live in Raleigh.  It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?"

She nodded.

"I had a friend whose daughter was like you.  Only she wasn't as lucky.  The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone.  Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are home alone, yet they do it all the time on-line.  The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line.  Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing that you have done it.  I hope you have learned a lesson from this and won't do it again.  Tell others about this so they will be safe too?"

"It's a promise!"


NOW ...
I suggest you copy and paste this and send this to as many people as you can to teach them about not to give any information about themselves.  This world we live in is too dangerous to even give out your age, let alone anything else.

Tags: Protect Children, Internet Predators, Help Your Child Be Safe On The Computer

Applying The Four Agreements to Difficult People

Don Miguel Ruiz has actually written several books.  The first one interested me so much that I read his next one, I don't want to diminish Mr. Ruiz's book sales in any way, so once again, I am sharing a condensed version, choosing enough information to hopefully cause you to buy your own copy, but not so much that I give away the full concept because it is a good one and very much worth the price and your time.  I can't improve on Don Miguel Ruiz's words so let me share from this book:

The Four Agreements Companion Book
Using The Four Agreements To Master The Dream Of Your Life 
by Don Miguel Ruiz    

Humans accumulate a lot of knowledge, and 95 percent of that knowledge is not true.  Instead of using knowledge as a tool for communication, we become puppets of knowledge.  We give life to the knowledge, and that knowledge begins to create a lot of drama and suffering because it isn't based on truth. 

The whole dream of the planet is not real; it is not true.  When you awake from that dream and are aware of what is going on in people's minds, you see the Parasites everywhere in everyone.  You see all the emotional poison coming out through those parasites.  

Well, each of us has our own book of knowledge, our own "book of law", and we use that book to judge ourselves, to find ourselves guilty, and to punish ourselves. 

The belief that you are not good enough is one of the little parasites in your mind.  It is evil because it is destroying you.  It causes suffering because it limits your life, it limits your creativity and your happiness.  The belief that nobody likes you, the belief that you are always right - these beliefs are not true, and they lead you into self-destruction.  By always being right, for example, you have to make someone else wrong.  By making someone else wrong, you create an enemy and then you are hurting yourself because sooner or later that enemy will go against you.  All these concepts are alive and they work together, but they need your mind, they need your dream, they need your emotions to be alive.  They only live because you believe them. 

(Think about the things you believe) ... ask you heart, not the parasite, whether each statement is true or false.  Here's a hint to let you know when you are telling yourself a lie.  Any belief that generates fear or feelings of unworthiness is false; it's a lie.  The parasite thrives on the emotions that come from fear, suffering, and drama.  Our authentic self would never abuse us; it comes from love.  

Humans are powerful creators.  We are born with all the faith of the universe, and everything we create is based on faith.  That faith is really our personal power, but what has happened with our faith?  Your faith is so strong that when you believe "I am never going to be this," thy will be done, you are never going to be that.  if you believe "I cannot do it", thy will be done, you cannot do it.  Whatever you believe, you put your faith in that belief, and your faith will make it true.  

If you have a strong desire to change your book of law, it is going to happen, but you cannot expect the change to come without crisis.  You are breaking your beliefs, your awareness is expanding, and you are learning to dream in your own way.  As you break all those old beliefs that tell you what isn't possible, incredible things start happening to you because you don't limit yourself anymore.  

YOU DON'T TAKE ON OTHER'S ADDICTIONS, AND YOU DON'T JOIN IN THEIR GOSSIPING.  YOU NO LONGER CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR DRAMA, ABOUT THEIR ANGER, THEIR JEALOUSY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY ARE DREAMING.  AND YOU KNOW THEY DON'T MEAN IT WHEN THEY TELL YOU SOMETHING UNKIND.  

Once we understand that we are dreaming, knowledge doesn't control our faith anymore.  Instead, the opposite happens; our faith controls our knowledge; our faith controls our agreements and beliefs.  We accept that it's our responsibility to change the dream if we don't like it, and we surrender to being responsible.  Then we realize that the point of view other people use to see the world has nothing to do with us.  We don't take anything personally because we know others are dreaming, and it is only their point of view.  We know they are never going to believe what we say anyway unless they change the way they dream.  

We don't expect that people will understand us.  They are ruling their lives by their personal book of law, and they are still comparing notes with everybody else.  We will understand them because we used to be the same way, but they will not understand us.  

At this point, we no longer make assumptions.  We know it is a fact that others are dreaming, and in their minds whatever they say right now can change the next day or the next instant.  How can we make assumptions when we know that everything is changing?  We love them the way they are and respect all the changes in them, or we walk away.  We are no longer attached to the outcome, because we have our faith.  

At this point, our whole life becomes magic.
Miracles happen,
and they happen all the time.

There is only one thing we can use to guide our actions, reactions, and our interactions with all those dreamers who don't have awareness, and that is our integrity.  Our integrity is who we really are, the totality of our own self.  You need to trust yourself.  You will know that you have recovered your integrity whenyou feelgood, when you feel happy.  Every time you don't feel good, it is the result of a self-judgment, and that judgment is using the book of law to find you guilty.  Now you are ashamed of yourself, and that's why you don't feel good.  

The fourth agreement, ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST, is the engine that moves us forward.  It is the action.  Perhaps you cannot control what is going to happen around you, but you can certainly control your own reaction.  Your reaction is the clue to having a wonderful life.  Why?  Because what makes you happy or unhappy is not what is happening around you, but how you choose to react to it.  If you can learn to change your own reactions, then you can change your habits and routines, change the program, and change your life.  

The repeated action of using the Four Agreements will break many of the agreements that make life so difficult and unpleasant.  It takes a lot of time and courage because it's easier just to take things personally, make assumptions, and react the way you react all the time.  But that leads you to emotional pain, and your reaction is to send the poison back to other people and increase the drama.  WHEN YOU STOP THE DRAMA AT THE VERY BEGINNING, YOU SOLVE THE PROBLEM RIGHT AWAY, AND THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO AFTER THAT.

The parasite wants us to carry the past with us, and that makes it so heavy to be alive.  When we try to live in the past, how can we enjoy the present? 

Everything that exists is in an eternal transformation.  Everything in nature, all of creation, is changing.  Creation is happening in the moment.  It has no beginning, it has no end; it is ongoing.  Energy is always transforming because it is alive.  Life is what is happening; death is what is not happening.  A moment after something happens, it is already dead.  Whatever happened to us as a child, in school, with friends, in love relationships - whatever was true thirty years ago - is no longer true ... it is true that the memory happened, but it is also true that it is not happening anymore. 

It is gone.  It isn't real.  It's over.

Detachment doesn't mean that we stop loving someone or something; it only means we accept that there is nothing we can do to stop the transformation of life.  Detachment is so powerful because when we learn to detach, we respect the forces of nature, which means we also respect the changes in our own life.  As soon as you detach from fear, you detach from the problem, you detach from the outcome, and you are free.  You are floating effortlessly in the stream of life.  When you have no fear, you have no resistance.  And when you have no resistance, the solution to your problem is there in the light, and it comes to you.  The solution to every problem of humanity is in the light.

You are alive, you are free,
and you are powerful.
You are not a victim of your beliefs,
your desires, your society,
or your circumstances.

The Four Agreements Are:

1.  BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.  

All the magic you possess is based on your word.  Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you more than you know.  

2.  DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.  

All people live in their own dream, in their own mind.  Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.  

3.  DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.  

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything.  The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.  We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.  

4.  ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.  

In your everyday moods your best can change from one moment to another, from one hour to the next, from one day to another.  Your best will also change over time.  As you build the habit of the four new agreements, your best will become better than it used to be.  

The Four Agreements are not meant to be a religion, but an enhancement of our faith and beliefs ... a tool to be used to bring out the best in each of us, to uncover our authentic self, to live our best life ...

I read the book ... to improve me ... to inspire me ... but I also learned to listen to other people differently.  It's much easier to really hear what people are saying when I don't take anything they say personally.  They are showing me their view of the world.  I don't assume I know what they are thinking or where their conversation is going.  I just listen to their view of the world.  If I am asked to comment, I am much more careful about the way I answer because I do believe that words have the power to bless and heal as well as curse and destroy.  Sometimes, I am tired.  Sometimes, I am not feeling well.  I am not always my very best, but I can always try to do the best with what I have at the moment.

Let me tell you what happened this weekend ...

I had two of my grandchildren spend the night.  They misbehaved horribly.  I didn't feel it was my place to punish them so I reported their behavior to my daughter.  I expected her to speak to her children, correct them and have the children call on the phone and apologize and promise to do better next time.  We would thank them for their apology and of course, forgive them ... and life would go on ...

That is not what happened.  My daughter was offended that we would criticize her perfect little darlings because they NEVER misbehave anywhere else!  Instead of an apology, I got a defensive MOTHER explaining to me in ridiculous logic why it wasn't her children ... but our fault !!!

What was I thinking?

I wish I could tell you that I immediately applied the FOUR AGREEMENTS and ...
 
1.    Kept my speech impeccable.
2.    Didn't take anything personally.
3.    Didn't make assumptions.
4.    Always did my best.

... that I kept things simple and I remained compassionate throughout the whole conversation, but I didn't and I wasn't.  I went for a walk, talked to Joey ... and considered ...

1.    I needed to be calm and let go of my expectations.  My daughter is still trying to live the lie of perfection.  It's poisoning her.  It hurts me but it is hurting her WAY MORE.
2.    How can I really take anything she says personally?  It's obvious to everyone else that there is no sense in what she says, but challenging her will only make her that much more determined to defend her position ... which will push her further into the lie, so it is better for me to let it go.  Nothing I say will change her.  She is going to have to find her own way ...
3.    I have no idea WHY she acts this way ... WHAT made her come to these conclusions ... WHERE this will lead ... or even WHEN it will get better.  Any assumptions on my part will only complicate and possibly hinder the eventual POSITIVE outcome.
4.    I did my best ... BUT I can do better.

I will remind myself ...

Detachment doesn't mean that we stop loving someone or something; it only means we accept that there is nothing we can do to stop the transformation of life.  Detachment is so powerful because when we learn to detach, we respect the forces of nature, which means we also respect the changes in our own life.  As soon as you detach from fear, you detach from the problem, you detach from the outcome, and you are free.  You are floating effortlessly in the stream of life.  When you have no fear, you have no resistance.  And when you have no resistance, the solution to your problem is there in the light, and it comes to you.  The solution to every problem of humanity is in the light ...

and float effortlessly in the stream ...
  

 

Tags: Healing, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz, Mastering, What to do with difficult people

LETTING GO OF HARM ...

Learning what it means to be empty and transparent
is the daily path of the wise.
It is a path that does not require a bulging portfolio
of knowledge and technique,
but the simple commitment on a moment-to-moment
level to let go of the forces that obscure compassion.
We learn to loosen our hold on resentment,
demand, and fear.
We learn to let go of our stories rooted in the past
and our anxieties about the future.
We learn to let go of our "shoulds",
historical angers, and opinions.
We learn to listen wholeheartedly in each moment
and to understand suffering and its causes.
A moment of letting go
is a moment of listening to the universe
in which all thoughts of "I" and "you" dissolve.
Learning to let go of the heart of separation,
the heart of compassion can emerge. 

Patient, kind, tolerant, and forgiving compassion
is the mother of calm simplicity.

For whatever words or actions
I have expressed that have harmed you,
I ask your forgiveness.

I forgive you for the words and actions
you have expressed that have harmed me.

So simple to understand but so hard to do ...

Tags: Healing, Letting Go Of Harm, Forgiveness

Compassion

Compassion.

 

Compassion springs from a mind and heart deeply rooted in simplicity, integrity, and a profound understanding of the interconnected nature of all life.  Compassion is a transforming quality of heart we cultivate, nurture, and refine.  It is rediscovered through the falling away of layers of fear, resistance, and anxiety that have the power to veil the innately compassionate heart.  Our challenge may not be so much one of becoming more compassionate, but one of learning to let go of the clouds of confusion that obscures the powerful compassion within us.

 

There is no greater need in this world than the need for compassion.  There is no greater healing power than that of compassion.  Nurturing compassion invites us to address the most challenging questions and dilemmas of our times.  How do we respond to the escalating poverty, suffering and anguish in the world?  Can we find a wise and compassionate way to embrace those who abuse, exploit and oppress?  Can we find a way to embrace the rage, fear and hurt carried in our own hearts?  Is there any true alternative to compassion?  Compassion is a seed, cultivated within ourselves, that flowers in kindness, patience, tolerance and the skillful responses of healing.  Compassion is born not of complex, heroic efforts and prescriptions, but of simple dedication to the end of sorrow as it is met in each moment.

We need to remember that compassion is not only the territory of the saintly, the realized, or the religious; it is born in heartfelt listening to our own life, heart, and mid, and bearing the echoes of all lives, hearts and minds.

 

Each of us has the capacity to awaken our hearts and minds, and discover the simplicity of genuine compassion ... Our capacity to feel deeply means we share with all life the possibilities of experiencing delight, joy, trust, and intimacy, just as we share the capacity to experience pain, sorrow, grief and fear.

 

An understanding of this profound interconnectedness of all life is at the root of the compassionate heart dedicated to alleviating suffering without reservation or exception.

We are strangely close to the people in our lives we struggle with, fear, resent, just as we are close to the difficult places in our own hearts and minds - our tendencies towards self-abasement, greed or feelings of inadequacy ... The difficult people in our lives, the difficult places in ourselves, appear to hold as much power, but it is power we have given to them.

Would we rather flounder in the waves of resentment or find the compassion to forgive and move on in our lives?  Would we rather pursue the desperate dream of perfection or find the wisdom and compassion of acceptance and understanding?

 

In the loss of compassion, and the surrender of the core of freedom within, there is grieving in our hearts; the grief of profound loss.  Learning to rediscover our capacity for compassion is a reclaiming of authority ... In resting in interconnectedness there is peace, forgiveness, compassion, and vastness.

Our memories, thoughts, and fears that are rooted in pain speak the language of separation and division - "wrong," "bad," "unworthy."  The wisdom of our heart speaks a softer language - "Patience," "tolerance," "forgiveness."

The difficult moments and encounters in our lives are the gateways to compassion.  Our enemies are angels of compassion in disguise, inviting us to present, to attend, and to receive.  Here we discover for ourselves the healing, balancing power of compassion.

 

Genuine compassion is not only a response to obvious sorrow and pain, but it is also present in the moments we are confronted with people who offend, threaten or challenge us ... We will all meet many difficult moments in our lives - people will abuse us or take us for granted, people we love will leave us; our expectations of others and ourselves will be disappointed, and there will be times when we are misunderstood or judged unfairly ... Whether our response to sorrow is an inner or an outer one, compassion roots itself in the dedication to ending sorrow.

 

How many moments in our lives do we face the choice between participating in the perpetuation of pain and finding another path that asks of us a greater courage, faith and compassion?

The seeds of compassion and wisdom lie in each moment that we are willing to turn our attention toward suffering, pain and conflict rather than following the pathways of denial and avoidance ... the gentle exploration of pain and sorrow in the world around us is also an exploration of the pain and sorrow we encounter in our own hearts and lives ... We live in a fragile world and there is wisdom in embracing a wise insecurity, understanding that the only authentic refuge in this fragile life lies in our capacity to remain present, balanced, and compassionate.

 

We hold the power to wound ourselves with judgment, harshness, and blame, occupying the role of our own inner terrorist.  All the strategies, formulas, and willpower in the world are no substitute for compassion ... Compassion teaches us that it is dangerous for our planet, our society, and ourselves NOT to care.

Compassion.

 

 

                                      ~ Christina Feldman, Author of

                                         The Buddhist Path to Simplicity ~ Spiritual Practice for Everyday Life

Tags: Healing, Compassion, Buddhist Path To Simplicity, Christina Feldman

Simplicity?

Simplicity.

 

Most of the answers we need are already right here inside us.  Our life's experiences were the training ground for where we are now ... but why do things get so mixed up if we already know the answers?  Well, that's simple too.  Some of the information we have come to accept as GOSPEL isn't GOSPEL but our personal experience and past hurts and disappointments discolor the way we react to things that happen to us now!

 

I heard a story on tv ... An elderly blind lady was being moved to a new old folks home ... On the way there, they were describing her room, the bed covers, the curtains ... and she said, "I love it!"  They said, "Are you sure?  You haven't even seen it yet!" and she said ... "I don't have to see it to know that I love it.  I have to decide to love it so that when I see it, I really will love it.!"

 

Simplicity.

 

I liked that story ... It was more than positive thinking ... It said to me that most of the things we fear ... even the things that hurt us ... happen inside us, and often with very little input from anyone else!  Other people don't hurt us.  WE HURT US!

 

Simplicity.

 

The world that invites profound transformation is the one we carry within us.  The only moment that offers the possibility of transformation and simplicity is this moment.

 

We do not need to look further than this moment, this world, to find the simplicity we hunger for.  Simplicity and stillness are born of transcending our life but of radical change in our hearts and minds.

 

Learning to cultivate inner calmness, to care wholeheartedly for the moment we are in, to learn to release anxiety and agitation; these are lessons we can only learn while living our lives.

 

The source of happiness and unhappiness lies nowhere else but in our minds and hearts.  We can make endless journeys to find happiness and engage in countless strategies to rid ourselves of unhappiness, but the key traveler on all the journeys and the central player in all the strategies is ourselves, and it is to ourselves we always return.  There is a wonderful Zen saying, "The only Truth you find on top of the mountain is the truth you brought with you."  We discover happiness through making peace with ourselves and the circumstances of our lives, not through trying to escape from them. nor through living in fantasies about the future.  Our lives will continue to present us with unexpected challenges and opportunities.  Our bodies will age and become fragile, our teenagers will rebel, our colleagues may frustrate us, financial demands will continue to appear.  We will meet with allies and adversaries.  We will be asked to find room in our hearts for the needs of others, to embrace our own demons, and to respond to the changing circumstances of each moment.  We make peace with our lives through learning to connect with the simple truths of each moment.  We make peace with our lives through learning to connect with the simple truths of each moment.  As the "graffiti on the bridge tells us, "We are not in a traffic jam.  We are the traffic jam."

 

The present moment we are in offers everything we need to discover the deepest serenity and most profound simplicity.  There is not a better moment, a more perfect moment for us to awaken and uncover the immediacy and well-being we long for.

Tolstoy once said, "If you want to be happy, be."

 

There is suffering ... There is an end to suffering.

 

Love and loss, frustration and contentment, intimacy and separation, praise and blame, beginnings and endings - this is the story of life.  For each person who meets life with joy and ease, there is another who lives with fear and conflict.  The story of life offers us possibilities of entanglement and intensity, or simplicity and ease.  To discover the peace of simplicity we are asked to see through the layers of misunderstanding and confusion that camouflage the serenity that is possible for us.

 

Serenity, compassion and stillness are not accidents but consciously cultivated paths.  They are possible for each of us, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to clear the dust of entanglement.  It is there for all, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to see clearly.

 

Just as moments of delight will touch our lives and hearts, we will also be asked to respond to encounters with loss, failure, blame and pain.  There will be times when we are separated from those we love, face disappointed dreams, experience loneliness and tension, or we are hurt by others.  Can we be at peace with all these moments?  Can we find a simple, clear understanding within our hearts vast enough to embrace the variety of our experiences?

 

Anyone can be at peace when showered with praise, kindness or adoration.  Show me the one who stays serene and balanced in the midst of harshness and blame, this is the one who is truly at peace.  If we do not know peace in our hearts, it will elude us in all the areas of our lives.

 

Peace is not the absence of the unpleasant or challenging in our lives.  Peace is most often found in the absence of prejudice, resistance, and judgment.  Learning to live with simplicity does not mean that nothing difficult, unpleasant, or challenging will happen to us.  Meditation is not an attempt to armor ourselves against life's realities.  Instead, it is about learning to open, to discover a heart as vast as the ocean that can embrace the calm and the turbulence, the driftwood and the sparkling waves.

 

Peace is not a denial of life but the capacity to be wholeheartedly with each moment, just as it is, without fear or avoidance.  We learn to simplify; to strip away our expectations and desires, to let go of our fears and projections, and see the simple truth of each moment.  Out of this simplicity is born an understanding and wise responsiveness that manifests in our speech, actions, and choices.  We discover what it means to embrace our lives.

 

We need to be willing to be changed by the insights that come to us.

Understanding the rhythm of change, the beginnings and endings intrinsic to life, is an insight that invites us to let go more easily.  To try to hold onto, maintain, or preserve anything in this life, inwardly or outwardly, is to invite the experience of depravation, anxiety, and defensiveness into our hearts.  Learning to embrace and live in harmony with all the changes, the births and deaths, beginnings and endings that life will inevitably bring to each of us, is to invite stillness and serenity into our hearts.

 

Simplicity is a journey that involves both our inner and outer worlds - they are interconnected, endlessly informing each other.  Our lives are simply our hearts and minds taking form, made manifest.  Our words, thoughts, actions, and choices are born within our hearts and minds.  Untangling the knots of complexity found within our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, we learn to untangle the knots of our lives.  We learn how to be at home in each moment with calmness, balance, and the willingness to learn.  Simplicity is not passive, a benign detachment from the turbulence of life; it is a way of placing our finger upon the pulse of our life and discovering the way of liberation. 

 

Patience is a gesture of profound kindness.  We all have moments when we stumble and lose ourselves in our stories, fears and fantasies.  And we can all begin again in the next moment, recovering a sense of balance and openness.  Patience teaches us to seek an inner refuge of simplicity, balance, and sensitivity in even the most turbulent moments.  It is about learning to be good friends to ourselves.  Blame, judgement, and avoidance only divorce us from ourselves and exile us from the moment.  Impatience always leads us away from where we are; wanting to jump into a better, more perfect moment.  Impatience is the manifestation of resistance and aversion, it is the face of non-acceptance.  Impatience never leads to the calm, simple contentment of being, but to perpetual restlessness and frustration.  Patience is one of life's great arts, a lesson we learn not just once, but over and over.  In the moments we find ourselves leaning into a future that has not arrived, we can PAUSE and learn to stand calmly in the moment.  When we find ourselves frustrated with ourselves or another, we can remember that THIS is the very moment we are invited to soften our resistance and open our hearts ...

Compassion is another essential companion on the journey to simplicity.  Simplicity is not only a gift of compassion for ourselves, but also for the world.  Deprivation, poverty, and hardship will not be eased by ever more strategies, councils, or prescriptions.  As Gandhi once said, "There is enough in the world for everyone's needs, but not enough for everyone's greed."  Each moment we lay down the burden of endless need, we become a conscious participant in easing the sorrow of the world.

Of what avail is it if we can travel to the moon,

If we cannot cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves,
This is the most important of all journeys
And without it all the rest are useless.

                                      ~ Christina Feldman, Author of

                                         The Buddhist Path to Simplicity

                                         Spiritual Practice for Everyday Life

 

Simplicity.

 

When bad things happen ... Don't fight it.  Don't run away.  Do what you can, if you can, when you can, and after you have done all that you can do, trust that you are where you are NOW to learn what you need to learn for what happens NEXT. 

Simplicity.

Tags: Healing, Simplicity, The Answers Are Already There, You Can Handle This

My Heart Needs Rest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I write about the awesome healing that I have found because HEALING is something we all need and it can come to any and all of us.  I've shared many thoughts on HEALING ... but sometimes, life throws me too many curves and I have to pause and dig a little deeper for more healing.

 

I never went to a funeral until I was 30 years old.  I was grateful that my family and friends lived long, but lately, there have been so many ... Aunts, Uncles, Friends ... from different parts of the country and for different reasons. 

I received another phone call this morning about two more deaths in the family ...

I know that no one lives forever ... and I know I haven't had much experience with funerals and death ... and I even know that some of them were older and had good lives ... and I am sure that they are in a much better place ... But so many good-byes so close together is wearing me out.

 

I'm tired and I need to rest ... 

You'll have to excuse me

I'm not at my best

My faith is still grounded

But my heart needs rest

 

 

 

 

Life's Balancing Act

 

 

THE GIFT OF HELLO
AND THE ART OF GOOD-BYE

 

 

I love beginnings ...

sweet meetings of the minds ...

discovering the blessed synchronicity of souls ...

the realization that the friends we choose

say as much about us as it says about them ...

It isn't lost on me that choosing me

says as much about them as it does about me.

 

 

My life is full of open, loving people ...

although my heart has often made room

for people who needed me much more

than I might have needed them ...

I have an affinity for the underdogs.

I have always collected strays.

I was rewarded every time

with the company of angels ...

true saints inhuman form who

balanced my life

with

their wisdom and spontaneous laughter ...

 

 

I have not mastered endings ...

I don't know that I shall ever get it right.

My heart breaks at the loss of every loved one ...

whether they be the underdog,

the sinner and the stray

or the angel, the saint,

and the pillar of strength ...

I do not know how to say good-bye

to even one of those

ripped from my life ...

I know with my head

that people come and people go,

Tides come in and tides go out,

Night has to follow day

so that day can follow night,

Flowers need sunshine and rain

to be beautiful and strong ...

I know this with my head.

I can't embrace it with my heart ...

When so many departures

are scheduled so closely ...

Does heaven need them all at once?

 

 

What JOY there must be in heaven

at the collection

of so many precious saints!

I can close my eyes and imagine them ...

the hugs and the cheer ...
I can see them at their finest,

shining from the inside out.

I am grateful for their health

and return to vitality.

I can feel them saying ...

 

 

"Don't miss me too much. 

I really like it here!

We'll see each other soon enough.

You'll really like the view!

You haven't really lost us.

We're there inside of you ...

as close as our memory,

Our words can replay at will.

You'll hear our love played back to you

Because we love you still.

Don't be sad

that you didn't get to say good-bye.

You can't say good-bye to love!

It is the same here as it is there ...

See you later

or

See you soon ...

You loving us and us loving you ..."

 

 

Whether death takes a loved one

to that other place,

Or life moves a loved one

to fill another space ...

The end result is the same

to those of us who are left behind ...

We close our eyes and think of them,

knowing that they are gone ...

but knowing too

that they're here inside of us ...

as close as our memory,

Our words can replay at will.

We'll hear their love played back to us

Because we love them still.

 

 

Maybe, we don't have to master endings

when nothing really ends ...

Once someone touches our life

and we share each other's heart,

Love creates a ripple

that grows into a wave ...

that carries us through our life

and way beyond the grave.

 

 

 

(I am not a poet or ever claimed to be!   ~ kktaylorcc)

 

 

Tags: Saying Goodbye, Healing, Balance

The Connectedness Of All Things

All events and incidents in life are so intimately linked with the fate of others that a single person on his or her own cannot even begin to act.  Many ordinary human activities, both positive and negative, cannot even be conceived of apart from the existence of other people. Even the committing of harmful actions depends on the existence of others. Because of others, we have the opportunity to earn money if that is what we desire in life. 

Similarly, in reliance upon the existence of others it becomes possible for the media to create fame or disrepute for someone. On your own you cannot create any fame or disrepute no matter how loud you might shout. The closest you can get is to create an echo of your own voice.

Thus interdependence is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law, or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. All phenomena, from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forests, and flowers that surround us, arise in dependence upon subtle patterns of energy.

Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.

               ~ by Tenzin Gyatso, the Fourteenth Dalai Lama,

                                      from "The Compassionate Life"

 

 

What that says to me is that EVERYTHING, absolutely EVERYTHING COUNTS!  The smallest action on one person's part can cause the biggest reaction on another person's part and we never really know how the things we do effect another or the effect that another's action may have on us.

Tags: Healing, Connectedness, Everything Matters, Everything Counts

A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY
(Poem by Lord Byron)

She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Dedicated to my friend, Emilie, who passed away two days ago.

She was the kind of friend who always knew the right things to say,

deeply spiritual and very wise.

I will miss her gentle ways.

She was a source of encouragement to everyone who knew her.

Please join with me in prayer for Emilie's family.

 

I have lost too many dear friends this year ...

I know that none of us is promised tomorrow ...

Please make the most of each day you are given

because none of us knows which day will be our last.

Please hold the ones you love close ...

the ones that matter to you most ...

because none of us knows which day will be our last.

 

 

Tags: She Walks In Beauty, Emilie, Loving Memory

Family Gatherings

The Mother's Day Cookout was GREAT!

I made potato salad and coleslaw Saturday.  I baked beans on Sunday.  Joey grilled hot dogs and hamburgers.  The kids brought drinks and chips.  I sliced tomatoes and onions ... set out the buns, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles ... along with everything else, buffet style.

 

I insisted that Nathan (my son) and Jeremy (son-in-law) wait on their wives hand and foot ... That made all of us laugh ... I can tell these two men need more practice!  LOL!!!  Then while the Moms ate, the Dads took care of feeding the kids ... a source of more laughter ... Nathan spread wasabi mayonnaise on Fiona's hamburger ... All three of us Moms shrieked, "That's wasabi!" ... He laughed and said, "You ask me to fix her plate and then you all stand around and tell me how to do it ... I can fix this" ... He switched his burger for hers ... Problem solved!

Everyone was laughing and talking at once ... The crowd spilled into the screened porch and the back deck. 

 

I stopped eating to listen to the kids laughing and the Dads teasing them and each other ... The kids are growing so fast, and as young as they are, they sure are smart!  Nathan and Jeremy act like brothers more than brothers-in-law.  They are both high school science teachers so some of their teasing can be nerdy in a cool kind of way ... lol ...

The kids all wanted to sit by Papa Joey.  He has been pretty popular since he taught Hunter (and then, Faith) to shoot a b.b. gun.  Then, he taught Faith how to play a few chords on guitar ... Joey never had kids of his own, so it's fun to watch how he handles three kids talking at once ... I bail him out once in a while ... but I usually don't have to.  He gets better as the kids get older, or maybe the kids get better as he gets older?  LOL ...

 

I rewarded everyone with ice cream ... Fiona (the youngest granddaughter) helped me make ice cream cones and she delivered them to everyone, saying, "Look what I made!"  LOL ... That little four year old sure serve up some pretty good ice cream!

 

The guys took Hunter and Faith (the two oldest kids) "EXPLORING" in the woods down by the creek ... I'm not sure WHY they needed b.b.guns and binoculars, but they did.  I'm surprised they didn't get out the fishing rods too!

 

Fiona stayed up on the porch with me.  We watched for airplanes and boodies (Means birdies - She can't say her Rs ... Her Dad couldn't either ... She'll learn).  I have had some of the deepest, most enlightening conversations with the brightest people, but I don't think any adult conversation beats giggling with a four year old on the back porch!

Tally (my oldest daughter) gave me the neatest bracelet and a frame with pictures of all four Grandkids!  Beautiful and thoughtful gifts ... But the sweetest gift was ...

 

Fiona had been walking around all day saying, "I'm pretty" ... She was wearing a "geen" (green) dress with "puppple" (purple) flowers and "puppple" (purple) flip flops and she did look pretty darn cute.  We were all in the living room visiting when she hollered (to be heard above every one else, of course), "You're pretty!"

 

I laughed and said, "Yes, Miss Fiona, you are pretty."

 

She said, "No MeeMaw ... YOU'RE PRETTY."

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

Tally, Adrian (Fiona's Mom) and I all exchanged that, "Isn't that just precious? look.  Now, I'll never make the cover of any magazine but to one little four year old, I'm pretty!

 

Happy Mother's Day To Me! 

 

An afternoon with the grandkids gave me even more appreciation for these grandchildren stories ... because kids really do say the darndest things! 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

A woman and her grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.

His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted  freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the
Sea."  The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.

In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"

With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.

 

He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

May your own life be filled with the laughter of children.

 

 

Happy Mother's Day

 

 

 

 

 

All That I am
And ever HOPE to be ...

I owe it all
To my
ANGEL MOTHER.

(- Abraham Lincoln)

 

 

 

 

Before I Was A Mom
(Author Unknown)

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

I had romantic time with my hunny.

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as Iwanted and never worried

about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on pooped on spit on

chewed on peed on or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts,

my body and my mind. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child

so that doctors could do tests or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby

just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart

outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.

I had never known the warmth the joy

the love the heartache

the wonderful-ment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much

...before I was a Mom.

 

A Note Of Compassion

 

Holidays aren't always Celebrations.
Sometimes, they HURT.

Sometimes, they remind us

Of Our Losses ...

If you have lost your Mom,

Your Grandmother,

Or the Mother of Your Children,

Today can be hard.

 

If you have lost a child,

Today can be hard.

 

If you never knew your Mom,

Today can be hard.

 

But TODAY

Can be a reminder of
HOW MUCH MOTHERS BRING

To this world

And
The LOVE that is passed

From generation to generation

In the hearts of

MOTHERS.

 

Warm Thoughts and Gentle Hugs
To YOU ...
All the mothers and all the children

Whose LOVE survived your loss.

 

 

Love and Light, Taylor 

Tags: mothers, Love survived your loss, healing

Happy Birthday To Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was talking about other things so
I didn't bother to mention that I turned 49

this week!

49?

 

Yup ... Really!

 

I was feeling a little funny
about being the same age my Mom seemed to be ...

only a year or two ago ...
Of course, it's been LONGER that that

but it feels like only a few years ago!

 

When I was little, I can remember a day taking

FOREVER ...

Now, they FLY BY!

Whole months shoot past!
It seems like I just get used to writing one year

on my checks

when it's already the NEXT year!

 

I was reading REAL SIMPLE

(a GREAT magazine, if you haven't read it yet,

do yourself a favor and buy a copy!)

when I came across

an article written about people OVER 100!

 

You already know I like quotes,

so you might like some of these ...

(Remember, these are being said by women OVER TWICE

my age ... lol)

 

Frances Johnson (100) said:

 

If it's not terminal, why worry?

If it is, you can't do anything about it anyway!

 

A meal's not done until you have dessert.

 

Something good usually comes out of bad events.

 

Don't hold unto anger ...

You'll just make YOURSELF miserable.

To make a pot roast with the BEST flavor,

cook it VERY, VERY slowly.

 

Edna Anderson (100) said:

Keep walking.

You'll be so happy you can walk when you're old.

Avoid a fast talker when you are looking

for a husband.

Go for someone who's steady.

 

Volunteering gets you away from your own worries.

 

There are still happy times ahead after loss.

 

 

Mary Cavaliere (106) said:

 

Always cook with fresh vegetable, never canned.

 

Marry a man who's more in love with you

than you are with him.

 

A person never gets too old to love.

 

Forgiveness really is divine.

 

If you expect perfection from everyone,

you'll be all alone.

 

 

Melva Radcliffe (105) said:

 

Anything you love is important.

 

Don't be afraid to travel.

 

Don't go abroad and eat in a chain restaurant.

Eating at a foreign place is part of the trip.

 

You'll always need your girlfriends.

 

Think twice before plastic surgery.

You might look prettier without it.

 

 

Evelyn "Tootie" Yeager (102) said:

 

A mother should respect her children,

just as they should respect her.

 

If you're not wild about cooking,

get a microwave.

 

Eat what you're hungry for.

 

If you worry about being old,

you will be old.

 

Look for a husband that makes you laugh.


I wanted to hug everyone of these ladies

personally!

49 ... Pffffffffffbt!!!

BIG DEAL!

There'll be a day I'll give anything to be 49 again,

because

49 feels pretty good!