I read this email ... just a forward ... and I thought about how blessed I am that I got away. I know that there are women who don't get away. I know it happens. I thank God everyday for my life and the goodness that is in it.
If you are able to read these words, you're still with us and there is still hope. I'm glad! This email was sent with instructions to send it on so that people know and remember that women are abused, but you and I already know that, don't we ... The message for me was more personal. I read it and counted my blessings.
I Got Flowers Today!
We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. He called me names. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. I got flowers today.
Last night, we fought again. I can't remember what started it, but he got mad so fast! He threw me into a wall and kicked me when I fell to the ground. He jumped on top of me and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real! But I'm covered in bruises and I woke up sore all over. I wonder if make-up will cover some of this? I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers again today.
I got flowers today. It wasn't mother's day or any other special day. I got flowers today.
Things had gotten better. I thought he was happy. He had just told me how much he loved me ... more than anyone else he had ever known, he said. I don't know what I did this time to make him mad? Last night, he beat me up again. It was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money? I'mafraid of him, but I'm scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers again today. He even put on his suit and dressed up the kids!
I got flowers today. This was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral!
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death ... If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him ... I would not have gotten flowers today ...
If I could only go back and leave when I had the chance ... What will happen to my children now?
I read that email and there was nothing to do but say, "Thank you Lord, for letting me get away and get free!" You and I are blessed. We are the lucky ones. We survived. Here is another poem:
Another Woman
Today another woman died
and not on a foreign field
and not with a rifle strapped to her back,
and not with a large defense of tanks
rumbling and rolling behind her.
She died without CNN covering her war.
She died without talk of intelligent bombs
and strategic targets.
The target was simply her face, her back
her pregnant belly.
The target was her precious flesh
that was once composed like music
in her mother’s body and sung
in the anthem of birth.
The target was this life
that had lived its own dear wildness,
hadbeen loved and notloved,
had danced and not danced.
A life like yours or mine
that had stumbled up from a beginning
and had learned to walk
and had learned to read.
and had learned to sing.
Another woman died today.
not far from where you live;
Just there, next door where the tall light
falls across the pavement.
Just there, a few steps away
where you’ve often heard shouting,
Another woman died today.
She was the same girl her mother used to kiss;
the same child you dreamed beside in school.
The same baby her parents
walked in the night with
and listened and listened and listened
For her cries even while they slept.
And someone has confused his rage
with this woman’s only life.
~ Carol Geneva Kaplan ~
I read that one and repeated the same thanks. I told someone that making my way away from that abusive relationship was like crawling out of the dark, but I know there are lots of women still suffering in those dark places! I keep writing ... and hoping that something I say will reach those tender, broken hearts and give them strength to do whatever they need to do to be safe ... I am no one special ... I am just one person who made it out and stands here on the edge calling back to those who are still there ...
"Come this way! There are survivors here! We are okay. You can make it if you try. Please try! Everything will be okay. Have faith. Don't give up. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Get away. Run! You can be safe. You can do it!"
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